June 6th: One year ago today

One year ago today Jake and I felt some peace after the emotional ups and downs of the days following Max's death. We had pretty much cried our way through the week, but that day- it was a Wednesday-we felt a little better. We sat and watched tv together-the last time for quite a while. We had a really nice talk-about Max, about the arrival of "the baby" and both agreed that if the baby came any time soon, it would be ok. Before that we felt like it would've been a little too much to emotionally handle.

It was funny, as we were sitting together having that conversation, "the baby" was moving around in ways she never had before, it almost felt as though she were knocking. It was a peaceful time together..knowing we couldn't grasp or prepare for what was ahead, making peace with and looking fondly at what was behind, knowing it was all for the best, grateful to have each other.