BOOM!




I am realizing just how many preconceived notions I had about parenthood and babies. Tomorrow Ayla is going to be 11 months old. I think I thought by now we would have more figured out, that Ayla would have more figured out, that it would all be easier than it is. I have to say I am a little embarrassed by this because I usually credit myself with not being that naive. I certainly didn't feel so naive when we decided to get pregnant. I guess being a parent is the pinnacle of living and learning.

I come to you from a slightly discouraged place today. Ayla is sick...again! We just have a feisty, sensitive, energetic, "spirited" child. I have to keep a certain amount of armor up with her because I have a whole lot of friends with babies that just eat, sleep, develop...."today my baby just decided to start eating what we eat!" "She just started sleeping through the night!"....you know the people. I am so glad that we have the little one we have, not just any baby, but Ayla herself. But let's be honest. We all wish for an easier road at times. And statements like those make us question our own competence...no one has confidence of steel.

I can safely say each new stage with Ayla is a struggle. I think I stood on my hands and juggled chihuahuas with my feet today just to get Ayla to eat. How can the kid of a person who loves food as much as I do hate eating as much as she does?! Eating is a fight, sleeping is a fight(peeing is certainly a fight since she has a real fascination with the toilet!)

Add in that she has another ear infection(that makes one a month in 2008) and the doctor mentioned tubes(i.e. surgery)...bleh!

Oh....I am not meaning to gripe...vent may be a better word. Hey, if we're gonna share our lives through this blog, you're gonna get the real thing!

So on to "BOOM!" That is the sound of my preconceived notions crashing down, but also Ayla's most recent word. Stack some things up, she's pushes them over and then you say "boom" and she says "BOOOOO!"

One other cute and odd thing she is doing is when Jake says "toycletoycletoycletoycle" she flicks her tongue in and out like a snake.

These are some sweet pictures of our lil beer (little bear) in the beautiful sunshine yesterday.

Comments

Grammy Pammy said…
Just because we are born as humans does not mean we are fully-formed, fully-developed human beings. That is a lifelong process, and learning to be a parent is part of that process. Destruction of your illusions, however painful, is a good thing and important. You are an incredible Mom; you do not know that, but it is true. That you are NOT a good mom is one illusion you can allow to die. And you are blessed and fortunate to have such a "spirited" child as Ayla, and she equally as fortunate to have you as a mother. Love and prayers to both of you (and Jake, too; I didn't mean to exclude him :)
May 6, 2008 at 7:05 PM
Anonymous said…
Yeah, let me tell you about stages. Them learning to talk, learning to count, learning to write, learning to read, learning their colors, learning their numbers, learning to walk, run, ride a bike, kick a ball, hit a ball, and catch a ball. Learning to share, learning to say please, thank you, your welcome, learning to make friends, learning who are strangers, learning about death, learning about life, learning about God, learning to pray, learning how to sit still and be quiet in a restaurant, learning to obey your parents, learning that smashing goldfish crackers into the carpet is not ok, learning to go to the bathroom, learning not to wet your bed at night, learning how to take a bath, wipe your butt, brush your teeth. One after another, some are easy some are hard, every kid is different, but that is what they are...kids....Uncle Josh
May 7, 2008 at 8:09 PM
Proprietors of Chateau del Mulsoff said…
Wow. Glad we are waiting a bit. :D

Ruth, no matter what, I've always believed you to be a wonderful person, and therefore inherently a wonderful mom. You are full of love, and I can only assume that being a parent is a bit overwhelming for even the most loving people. Its nice to know that being a parent is not all sunshine and roses.

But I'm hoping its going to be like what I hear labor is supposed to be like: a pain in the rear, but the one smile makes all the phooey stuff fade away.

I hope anyway. I don't know yet. But I agree that you are being way too hard on yourself. Ruth and Jake rock. I'm a rock expert, so I should know. Never forget it!
May 9, 2008 at 9:36 AM
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